Yesterday I began unraveling the story of our son’s birth. Here’s what I’m calling part two. Hang in there, the end (tomorrow) is so worth it.
Good morning! Right now I’m sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. It is not comfortable. Not even kind of. Well, okay- the butt of this chair has a cushion. That’s about as good as it gets. We just spoke with our caseworker from the agency who has been trying to reach the social worker here at the hospital all morning. Until we can reach her- we know nothing. The nurses can’t tell us anything; We’re not even entirely sure that L is here yet. So, our agency caseworker is working hard for us today. I jokingly told her we have no where else to be and not to worry about us. But it’s true, I’ll wait. My heart has been waiting for so long, I’m actually pretty happy to be sitting in a waiting room or hotel room with no other obligations, doing the for-real-kind-of-waiting. The congruency is a nice change of pace.
On our way to the hospital this morning we stopped by Starbucks to feed our addiction and pick up a few bribes. Hey- I have no shame; I want the nurses to like us. I want them to take care of L. I want them to smile when I ask them the same question a million times even if it takes vanilla scones and a jug of blonde roast to get it done.
While we were waiting for our travel-pack to brew at the ole S-to-the-B, I noticed the hub and I are extra cool today.
Yeah, that’s right. We accidentally dressed alike. Um. This is not cute. Thanks for hanging in here with us. We’ll keep you posted.
Almost 1pm and Still Waiting
Unfortunately there’s no news to report. Since we’re unable to see L we have no idea what’s going on… We’re taking a break from the waiting room to have lunch in the hospital courtyard. We heard the food isn’t terrible;) We’ll see. I’m thankful for this beautiful weather today. Now that I know There’s a courtyard, this is probably where I’ll stay.
Frustration Is Setting In
Just got an update from our caseworker who was able to talk to L over the phone. She is still in triage. oh. my. goodness.
I realized L probably hasn’t eaten anything since midnight as I was finishing my lunch, and lost my appetite. Well, the bee that was after my Pepsi contributed. After lunch, Chris wanted to go to the nursery again to see the newborns who amaze me in every way.
The hospital social worker hasn’t called us. I know she hasn’t been to see L. And I’m just so angry that this can’t happen the way L wanted. There are other things too. It doesn’t look like she’s going to be able to spend the 48 hour waiting period with the baby, like she wanted. And we can visit him, but it doesnt’ seem like a Family Room is an option, so we can’t stay here at the hospital unless it’s in this waiting room (Which I admit, we pictured a little differently. It’s more of a hallway with a TV and a few chairs).
So I’m frustrated for all of us.
During a time when people would need to care the most, it seems like no one here at the hospital cares at all. But, maybe I’m being sensitive. I think I’m reaching my emotional limit for the day.
Reading back over these words and remembering the anticipation, even the frustration, makes me smile. I wish we’d taken more photos and written more down. I could barely see past the minute or hour ahead. But what really sends my head back in laughter is hearing his squeaky baby noises right now as I read back over this, knowing where this story ends up.